Monday, December 24, 2007

Flight of the Steel Bird

Flight of the Steel Bird

There's a time when fate and faith meet. Then miracles happen. Then happiness seduces all into bliss.

Bliss... here we fathom that it is only the unfathomable complexities of both fate and faith in life that brew happiness.

There's probably a good reason why it was delayed. There is undoubtedly a boon in learning to fly late, when one can understand, experience, take pleasure and cherish all that one sees, believes and does.

There's probably a good reason why the meeting of fate with faith was delayed, but it happened, the miracle. A maiden voyage.

Miracles don't come easy. A rough start. Patchy weather, maintenance, conditioning all of them matter in a flight. All the elements were against the start. Temperature fluctuated, irretrievable objects were hurled at the last moment, shields were raised, efficiency took a blow and so did the conditioning. But those things would not be a match to the faith; those things could not stand tall in fate's game.

Come what may, they say. In a lighter sense... in comparison to the joy, the happiness,,, the experience, all was overcome. She had come, the beautiful daylight with the mighty sun, peeping with her tenderness though the gray clouds in assurance. The much awaited day, the maiden flight, My maiden flight.

Then they decided, fate and faith, 'we’ve played enough, the time has come. Fly.'

Tender disappointment was over come with the bliss in the agreement.

The rough Road seemed a road of butter in the happiness; it melted away at my feet as i gained the momentum. I have learned to fly and now,,,, I fly.

Smooth with all the precision that was expected of me, I glided. The tiny jolts did not matter, I simply spread my wings and soared. Climbing higher the earthly sights melted away. I could see the sun and yet shivered. I was one with the wind when I was not so. The paradoxes played the role of reality if that was possible. I flew.

Rising steadily higher, calmness greeted me. Serenity was all around. Corruption and malice nowhere in sight, I soared higher, reaching the highest an earth bound soul can dream of. The highest I have reached the fastest I have dreamt, I spread my wings leaving behind reality, leaving behind my home.

At 37000 feet, soaring was more swimming than flying. I was amongst white cotton candy drifting in peace, cheering me on, parting way at my arrival, smiling and gleaming gloriously behind me in the sea of blue skies. A drop of brown was not to be seen. I was closer to the cosmos than I could afford any day. Above me, though I could not see, I knew she watched me in silent amusement that parents smile with at a toddler's antics.

I smiled back; I knew luck was with me. But apparently fate had decided to prolong her game for amusement. The sun he gleamed, the clouds they drifted, daylight she smiled, but the wind,,,, she blew.

Humility is the trait of good upbringing. Humility a necessity not an accessory. But in all words spoken for the truth, I am and will be but a humble nobody in comparison to the giants of the sky sea. Apparent it was at the entrance to my miracle, that I was an amateur, stepping into the turf of giants, and those of sylphs.

The awe at the sight of preparatory procedures for the giants as they stood there tall, long and with silent majesty, duty bound and proud, even if it was the smallest of giants, gave me away. With amusement again she smiled down at me, cosmos.

But a gentle giant I can call myself in comparison to the swift sylphs and the powerful lords. Sturdy build and majestic wings were a gift even one as me was blessed with. Fate, she decided games done, I would be tested here, more than anything. She told the wind, 'Let's see what happens.'

My sturdy wings of metal stiff to earthly conditions, flapped like mica under her force. She blew and danced about me with all her might. She rocked my fuselage up and down. But learning from the giants, I was duty bound. I ploughed on and she eased up. I ploughed on wondering, if my wings of strength bowed to her might, how then would a tiny sparrow sway, how then would they soar to her strength and then she gave me a break.

Fate and faith they smiled again, the exhilaration was back. The ecstasy indescribable.

The joy, oh it made me forget why it was that I was denied this happiness till this blessed day.

The rush of excitement continued to replenish my joy, the lightheadedness continued to spark silent laughter within. For it recurred to me at various moments that I was the show and not the audience.

Disbelief battled with certainty, but I soared on.

The wind she kept her watch on me. Turbulence wasn't to be an issue. The maiden flight was decided by fate to go well, that I knew, and so it would be. Now I watched the cotton candy gleaming a royal gleam, I cherished the vastness of the world, however insignificant I seemed. So I moved on, new places to come, though indistinguishable from above greeted me with treasure for a memory.

A sea of lone blue serene and strong beckoned me on elusively as I reached out, the sea of lone cotton candy they gathered as a kind to purify all the world behind me white.

So there I soared swift as any bird would dream, now aided by the wind and the sun and even the pure white sea. With not a soul around, the world to myself I flew, then alone did I realize, good things are few.

My miracle she came, but then sometime she had to end. And so I neared my destiny feeling 'quite out of the blue'.

Fate and faith they cheered me on, 'don't worry, you ain't through.' Tenderly she smiled and nodded to fate, ' she will be back again.' fate laughed, ' yes my dear, shiny as she ever can.'

So now they cheered me even more, my candy friends of sea, the wind she kissed me tenderly and guided my wings to safety. As I soared to the world, bid them a short adieu. 'I will be back, fresh and we begin anew.'

Now I felt the world call out, she pulled me closer to her still. She gave me a butter roadway, so I would feel again the thrill. Smooth I landed because of that and of my teacher's skill. Rumbling gently along, till I finally could stand still.

Wednesday, December 12, 2007

Boon and the bane

My day of blindness…. (Make that half a day)

It simply started out as a lazy day where my lil bundle of terror (in the form of my kitten) woke me up with her clawing away at my hand, out of hunger. The simple solution was to drag her away and thrust her at my dad, who takes better care of her than he has ever bothered for me (sad to say). Ah, back to my cozy bed for a few more hours of sleep.

A lazy stretch after waking and getting ready, I walked out to my mum, whose delicious coffee my (mind more like) taste buds were itching for, only to have my kitten. Christened ladoo, throw herself at my ankle and gnaw away at my jammies. Cute.

Cursing my cable provider for ruining my life, and driving it to complete boredom by cutting off any channel that gave solid information, I turned to my computer as usual for solace. I blared my favorite list on the speakers and checked mail etc. Alas that didn’t keep me occupied for too long. Oh yeah I remembered I had to take my bike out to service. Going down I pestered dad to take me to the ophthalmologist, cos of the trouble my eye was giving me.

Driving has always given me immense pleasure, a sense of power and freedom. I’m still waiting for the day I buy my first Bike. Hmmm…. Anyways, he was very particular about dropping my scooter off before heading to the doc. At the time I thought he was just being stubborn as usual! Little did I know why he insisted on it at the time.

My newfound ophthalmologist is a retired professor from a well-known college here.
And going to him was less a visit to the doctor and more a visit to your old grandpa.
Well, chortling away his joke about my age he made me take the usual reading tests.
All the way through except for the last line…. Dang.

Then came the shocker that I didn’t react outwardly to. Dilating my pupils. Yikes. The last time I had to undergo this torture the dratted doctor ( the old supposed doc who I went to before grandpa ^o^) diagnosed me for the wrong power and almost ruined my eyes ( given cos of my obstinacy about not wearing the dorky glasses I had picked out, I saved my eyes!) and it gets better. He practically blinded me for two days.

Everything was blurred. I knew where I was going, what I was seeing. But nothing had a definite shape. And this was around 6 years ago people when I had lesser life than I do now. I couldn’t do anything… not even TV! (sob).

This time around it wasn’t so bad. I could see everything…. Everything far off that is. He had diagnosed me for distance vision, thereby completely obscuring everything within a foot around me.

That was when I realized the pain it was to be blind. I know its exaggeration, but hey this made me realize a lot. The time I spent sitting there waiting for the medicine to dilate my pupils, I couldn’t do anything. I couldn’t move, I couldn’t use my phone, I had no idea of who was and wasn’t in the room. Not even if my own dad was there still. In the time that I was sitting there, I thought of the things that I really wanted to see then. I so badly wanted to see the bikes and cars out on the street. I wanted to see my dad’s bike. I wanted badly to be able to type out a message to my friends on my phone despite being charged for it. I wanted to call my mum and tell her that we would be delayed cos of the tests that I was to take.

Nothing. I wanted badly to see the face of my scrawny little kitten as she bounded up to me to attack my leg, to see her scratching away at my feet, and then stare up at me with those cute big green eyes as though she was an innocent angel. I wanted to go right out to my computer and draw out my most favorite character in my story. I wanted to see all the colors I thought were just so beautiful, marvels of life. I even had the urged to pick up my textbook for Physics of Materials and read through it.

Then did I realized how many things in my life I enjoyed merely because of my sight.

The things I had taken for granted. The things I was able to do independently all because I was blessed with near perfect sight (come on people I can see a bus at the end of the road and tell you what it say, who cares what the doc says!). I am able to do everything.

Groom myself to my satisfaction; get around to wherever I want. I have the option of choosing what I want to and don’t want to see. I have the option of seeing what the world is like, be it biased or even if I’m seeing just a fraction of it. I am able to express my creativity with color because I have vision. I realized how important color and shapes were in my life…. And the same extrapolates to everything to do with me.

My music defines me and I know now for fact that without being able to listen to my songs on the mp3 player my sister so lovingly bought me, as the drab journey to my university back and forth lolls on, I’d become mad instantly.

Yes it was for merely half a day I spent visionless…. But then the smallest interval of time is enough to make one realize what it is he has and what he is taking for granted.

I know for sure without my vision, hearing and speech I’d have gone mad. I understood what Helen Keller was trying to tell us. I found it terribly difficult for a day, I can only imagine what it is like to go through life, for those unfortunate souls who don’t have these faculties.

Seriously, you don’t know what you’ve had till its gone… don’t let that be. I’ve learnt that now, in half a day of blindness.